Every parent wants to make their children sensible and well-behaved, but in reality, most parents are such as children can not eat obediently, can not get along with small partners, cry loudly in the mall, and even attack others at every turn, such problems as the so-called "other people's children" seem to always be other people's children, but in fact, every child comes to us, Are a blank sheet of paper, can become a kind of existence, all rely on the guidance and education of parents, master certain skills, their children can also become the envy of the "children of others."
Rule clause
Punitive measure
First of all, we can work out certain rules with our children for all aspects of life, no playing, watching TV, leaving the table while eating; Go to the mall can not casually take things, to a certain time must go to bed, can not attack and abuse others, etc., you can add rules and corresponding punishment according to the different problems of the child at any time, and clarify to the child.
The next is to implement these rules, the child's self-control ability is relatively weak, many times it is difficult to voluntarily comply with the rules, once the child has violated the rules, we can be divided into the following steps to deal with:
Warning, as soon as the child has violated the rules, to warn him immediately, tell him: "baby, you are not right, we agreed to....... If you do this again, mom or dad will let you...... according to our rules You know what?" If the child is well controlled by the warning, it indicates that the child has established a sense of rules about the problem.
Punishment, if it is found that the warning does not work, the child is still doing his own thing, it is necessary to implement punishment according to the rules of punishment, do not make corporal punishment, beating and abusing at the time seems very effective, but it is only because of the fear of the child, he can not really establish a sense of rules, but also harm the parent-child relationship and the child's mental health, It will also let the child develop the bad habit of violent aggression. Therefore, our punishment is more to let the child calm down from the emotional measures, face the wall alone for a few minutes, sit on the chair for a few minutes, stand in the corner for a few minutes, etc., the length of time can be determined according to the age, one minute at one year old, three minutes at three years old, maybe you think this punishment is "light", in fact, for children, Don't do anything and be quiet, even a minute is a long time. It is worth noting that the child will definitely show resistance to the punishment, even crying, at this time must insist on completing the punishment, do not need too much appeasing and preaching, because at this time the child does not listen to anything, just testing the adult's bottom line idea to escape punishment, so be sure to firmly implement the rules, look on from the sidelines, once not twice. Until the child completes the punishment according to the rules.
Apologize, wait until the child completes the punishment, I believe his mood is gradually calm down, this is the best time to educate the child to let him know where he is wrong, you can gently and patiently explain to him why he will be punished "baby, you just......? Will cause...... Right? So we can't do this, you know? Do you know what you did wrong?" If the child can well recognize their own mistakes, it is necessary to guide the child to apologize, take responsibility for their mistakes, and say "sorry!" .
Hugging and kissing children will feel frustrated because they are punished for making mistakes, and even feel that their parents will not like themselves, so after we implement punishment and let the child apologize, we must let the child know that "Mom and dad are angry because the baby did this thing wrong, not love you this person, as long as the baby can understand the mistake and change," Is a good boy of mom and Dad! Mom and Dad love you forever!" At the same time, hug and kiss the child to make him feel the love of his parents.
Finally, the cultivation of children's habits, in addition to such skilled means, parents for the family and social rules of compliance with the child also has an irreplaceable demonstration role, so parents strictly require themselves to become a role model to abide by the rules, the child will become a real smart and sensible individual.