In fact, we suffer too much because of love. Even for those who claim to have found the perfect match, deep down there are sometimes doubts, insecurities or a little fear about their emotional future, and you never know. Who hasn't suffered from the wrong person? Who has not suffered from not feeling another's desire or not feeling another's caress? There is nothing in the world more hypersensitive, more captivating, more essential than love. If you give up love, the meaning and fun of life will be reduced, or even no meaning and fun at all
Love comes in all shapes and sizes. Emotional experience is made up of many unpredictable factors that are intertwined in a complex way. It is undoubtedly easier to feel love than to explain it, for we have never been taught how to love and be loved, at least not explicitly. Love, in whatever form it takes, makes us feel powerless and beyond our comprehension. I may be told that love cannot be "understood," that it can only be imagined and enjoyed, that it does not follow any logic. Sentimentality is as dangerous as naivete, for "lovesickness" is mainly the result of unrealistic and absurd ideas, and we spend our lives exploring these ideas. Misunderstanding about love is one of the main causes of emotional distress.
Rational approach to love? Right. You don't have to be too rational, just don't get too excited. The love of desire (with pleasure as the principle) should be combined with the love of reason (with reality as the principle), and the reason should be equal to the emotion. We must not only taste love, but also align it with our values and beliefs. This is actually increasing the "love factor", connecting the heart and brain to channel emotions in a healthier way. In other words, we must organize and control love to make it more approachable and friendly to neurons. I do not mean to bind love or cut off its wings, but to teach love how to fly.
What do we mean when we talk about love, or claim to be in love? We use all sorts of different words as synonyms for love: passion, tenderness, friendship, pornography, attachment, falling in love, sympathy, admiration, pity, lust, and similar expressions. We cannot clearly define what love is, nor can we agree on its terms. For some, love is a passion; For others, love and friendship are the same thing; Others combine love with compassion and selflessness. But who is right? Those who defend sex, or those who prefer camaraderie? Or those who believe that true love is a spiritual act?
In real life, a couple doesn't need to have sex five times a day (quality over quantity), doesn't have to agree on everything (a little disagreement re-emphasizes individuality), and doesn't have to live in a romantic mood forever (too much tenderness can be cloyingly annoying). Wise love is like a menu that responds appropriately and harmoniously in a timely manner as needed.
Sex. Eros is sexual desire, possession, falling in love, passionate love. The most important thing is that "I" is desired, appreciated, and needed, while the other person, "you," is not treated as an object. This is the selfish and greedy side of love: "I want you", "I want you to be mine", "I want you to be all for me". The nature of love is twofold and contradictory, it can lead us to heaven and then precipitate us to hell. Sex can hurt. It can also make people lose their minds and control. But we cannot live without eros, and lust is the most important engine in any relationship, whether it is purely sexual or sexual. Restrained love not only develops into love between lovers (with desire), but also in a kind way, as if two self-centered people do not love and do not love, will share and appreciate each other. Eros itself cannot be a complete love because it is flawed. This is Plato's idea of love
Love. Namely. In the context of our discussion, it means "between a couple/husband and wife", also known as "conjugal love" or marriage. Fraternity goes beyond the "I" and treats the "other" as one object: "you" and "me," but the "I" is still more important. In contrast to love, love has developed, but it is not yet possible to achieve complete kindness, because it is still a way of loving oneself through friends
Pure love It is selfless love, tenderness, vulnerability and non-violence. In pure love there is no "I" full of lust and unbridled, no "I" and "you" raised by love. Pure love is a selfless love that focuses on the pure spiritual "you." This is the purest form of love: a compassion unsullied by egoism
Without love, love, there is no pure love for disabled love, some people let it go, but sooner or later the disability will affect their personal peace of mind and the relationship itself. Is there love without desire between lovers? I doubt it; There's something else, of course. Living with the enemy? Unbearable. Indifferent to the well-being of loved ones? This is so cruel.
It won't be easy to fix, because it will require both of them to set aside their own stubbornness and start thinking about each other's well-being. In other words, in order to combine sex and sex both in bed and off, pure love must be allowed to work.
We have been taught irrational ideas, and if we let go of these ideas, love will not cause pain. Buddhists often say that ignorance is suffering. In the same way, countless thinkers and spiritual leaders have emphasized the importance of correct thinking in order to escape suffering. When love comes, do we all become ignorant? I bet the answer is yes. Emotionally illiterate? I don't think illiteracy is enough, but it can become emotionally "dyslexic."